ACKEL
by Static Owl
Summary: *This is a parody of CHERUB, with the DBZ storyline staying the same, but GT doesn't happen. AU* Drake's school has just been blown to pieces and his friends have been captured by Mr. Popo and it looks like his life is over. But when he gets kidnapped by ACKEL, a child spy agency, it may give him a chance to find his friends. Rated T for language and minor sexual references.


ACKEL

Chapter 1

Raditz. Why Raditz? Since when did authors write Raditz? Never mind. It was ten minutes until the bell. Drake Brown-Poo sat in class, barely listening, but still hearing the teacher's words ringing through his head like a dragon ball bouncing across a really bored anyone's brain.

He glanced around and looked at the activity across the classroom. Christopher picked his nose. Stephen listened intensely; he always did. Lily, Emily and Sophia were gossiping about One Direction, or something. James was playing with a staple that he found on the floor. Peter drew something on his arm. Ray played with his clothes, which he always did. Darren slumped forward looking miserable, as always. Drake had always wondered why he was so depressed. Jack tortured a beetle he found with his pencil. Bob pressed the spacebar on the computer, muttering about how terrible Windows is. Christina picked at the carpet. Rose read Naruto, Fullmetal Alchemist, Chobits, Cardcaptor Sakura, Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, Negima, Alice 19th, Vampire Knight, the list was endless! Finally he turned around and looked at Hannah, who he had absolutely _LUURRVED_ since like he had turned 12 and started thinking of girls in a different way (eeewww) She looked up at him.

"What?" she said.

"Uuuuuuh…" Drake said awkwardly. "…Nothing."

"So nothing causes you to look at me?"

"Yeah, I guess…"

"Then why were you looking at me dipstick?"

"Uh…"

"That was a rhetorical question." Drake turned away and felt himself fart.

The bell rang and the classes crawled out like little ants trying to find sugar. Drake waited outside for his friends Ray, Darren and Bob, who needed to speak with the teacher for a reason that was probably not their fault, but when he saw the blinds being closed and heard groaning, Drake was instantly drawn to the door. Through the side of the blinds, he saw Darren, who looked more miserable than ever before, being throttled by Mr Popo who was at least twice Drake's size. Bob was crying and huddled in the corner of the room. Ray looked like he was going to fight Mr Popo, but was then violently tossed across the room. Drake tried to get in but the door was locked. He jerked the handle up and down to try to force it open but the only thing that moved was one of the two men inside the room who turned towards Drake and looked liked like he was gonna try and kidnap him.

Drake suddenly realised that he couldn't fight a man that long and thick so he ran. He sprinted through the office doors to the extreme dislike of the office lady who began running after Drake telling him he was in trouble, but was then knocked aside by Mr Popo running to catch Drake.

The office lady kicked and screamed on the floor like a Vegeta-bug, upturned on the floor.

Drake turned out of the school gates and Mr Popo was gaining on him, but just as he grabbed hold of Drake's shoulder, the school exploded. Fire blasted into the sky and smoke flew further upwards. Mr Popo let go and viewed the fire curl up and spit out lollipops. Drake's ears rang but he noticed the weight come off his shoulder so he used the explosion as a head start. He quickly turned the corner and entered a café before Mr Popo had noticed that he was gone. Drake ran up the stairs and looked out the window in time to see Mr Popo run past and turn the next corner.

He breathed a sigh of relief, which turned into a huge fart, which eventually became a loud wail. The smexy girl who was behind the counter ran upstairs to see what it was. Drake threw his arms around her and broke down completely. "

What is it my smexy love, what happened?" The smexy girl asked. "Why aren't you at school?"

When Drake told her his story, she gave him a large ice cream to calm him down. He finished quickly and the smexy lady beckoned him to a tinny tiny mobile phone so that he could call the police.

"Hello this is triple zero, please state your prank, false alarm or emergency…"

_At the police station..._

"He said that he ran from a Mr Popo who he described as 'extremely long and thick' so he must be fast…"

"He also mentioned a fart; he could be useful in an investigation…"

"I think that we should go for it…"

"He said that he was in the café on Citrus Road. Let's get him gals…"

_Back at the café..._

Drake happily farted as he saw the blue and white car almost crash just outside the café. He didn't happily fart when they put a sack of lemons on his head, put him in the car and drove him away. He tried to scream that he wasn't a lady from ladies for gentlemen because that's all he could think of, but they gave him a lemon and he gave a massive fart and fell into a deep, fart filled sleep.

Drake's vision faded back from pinkness. He was in a bed (OOOOHHH). It looked like a hospital bed but he knew it wasn't. He glanced around, trying to figure out where he was, but these surroundings were unfamiliar to him. He turned and looked at the bed beside him. Hannah was sleeping, in the bed to Drake's right. Her face was wet like she had dunked her head in the toilet.

Drake touched his own face. It was wet and smelly too. That was totally not cool. He wiped his sleeve on his face. Hannah stirred. Drake wondered whether to say her name or not.

He decided to. "*FART*… Hannah?"

"Drake?"

"Yeah."

"How much do you fart?"

"*FART*…"

"There you go again."

"Your point is…"

"Nothing. Um, could you stand up for a second?"

"*FART*…"

"Without farting."

Drake stood up farting, not knowing what was happening. Suddenly, Hannah threw her feet around his waist tightly.

"Why did this happen to us Dipstick Drake?"

"*FART*…"

"Shut up never mind."

Then a Saiyan, who looked like he had a high level of AWESOMENESS, walked in and spoke. "Okay kids, enough of that, like, seriously enough…"

Drake broke the silence with a fart and he and Hannah broke each other apart awkwardly.

"Okay guys, now, I want to know if you guys enjoy eating lemons?"

"But what about oranges and limes and other citrus fruits?" Hannah asked.

"Screw them. You need to start eating lemons, cos you're part of ACKEL now."

"ACKEL?"

"Well ALL CRAZY KAKARROTS EAT LEMONS of course!"

"*FART*, sounds cool."

"There _is_ a test that you have to take before you get in."

"Cool, test away."

The Saiyan led Drake and Hannah through the doors and into a lift.


End file.
